“Dating Over 50: The New Rules” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from Match.com provides excellent advice for singles in their prime who may feel a bit out of place on the dating scene. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
While the stores stock their windows and aisles with candy and trinkets for Valentine’s Day, many singles find it difficult to keep their heads up, enjoy the perks of single life and treat themselves with the self-love they deserve. As people enter the prime of their lives, dating success requires a balance of both realism and optimism. Be thankful for the lessons from the past – but use these techniques to leave them in the past. Take this time to reflect on what you are looking for in a companion, make yourself more available to potential partners and be your own matchmaker.
A positive attitude is key to finding a partner, especially around the holidays. It’s not too late to start your New Year’s dating resolutions; if you haven’t dated online, start now! If you’re on a site, join one or two more. Take advantage of the “numbers” game by widening your search and making your profile stand out. While having a first date on the actual holiday is not advised, statistics show that Valentine’s Day can cause singles to catch the romance bug and become more active on dating sites in the days and month after.
Author Lorraine Jackson’s article from SelfGrowth.com, the internet supersite for self improvement and personal growth (read in over 100 countries), presents top techniques for remaining positive and resilient during the dating process.
Innovative Match (IM) is thrilled to announce that our founder and CEO, Cassie Zampa-Keim, is releasing her long anticipated book, "Finding Love After 50: Modern Dating Strategies for Women from an Industry Insider." Tailored towards 50+ women, the book will be available on the IM website as well as on Amazon in March. With over two decades of experience being an insider to the matchmaking industry, Cassie, with the support of writer Danielle Machotka, shows singles how to date smart and become their own matchmakers. Find an exclusive summary of the book below:
Dating can feel overwhelming at any age, but after fifty—and especially after divorce or widowhood—the new dating landscape can look totally unfamiliar. The rise of online dating has changed how people meet, and it has also significantly improved the opportunities for women over fifty to find partners. The key is learning to navigate this new world, adopting “dating smart” strategies and creating a new future for the prime of your life.
Finding Love After 50 puts you squarely in charge of your dating journey, bypassing expensive matchmakers and giving you the tools you need for everything from finding interesting men to going out on dates to building relationships. Written by a professional matchmaker with nearly three decades of experience, this book will start you on a journey of discovery, an exciting evolutionary process that will bring a new level of self-knowledge, clarity, and ultimately, relationship success.
Happy New Year from the Innovative Match team! We’ve entered dating high season, with the winter months (after New Year’s) being the busiest days of the year for online dating! There’s no better time for singles to refresh their dating strategies. Read the Washington Post’s just released collection of expert advice to have a great dating season, and find your next relationship!
We wish you and your families a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year! In 2016 we will be launching exciting new products and services, which will better enable our clients and community members to find the relationships that are right for them.
We are looking forward to a fabulous year ahead!
The Innovative Match Team Dedicated to Your Relationship Success
Holidays can be one of the more challenging times of the year for singles. According to a recent Match.com survey, close to 40% of singles said that the holiday season is when they most want to be in a relationship. Rather than let stress snow on your holiday cheer, embrace a positive attitude and sound advice to guide you through a wonderful season. This week's Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award features a stellar article from Seniorific by Justin Garcia, a scientific advisor for the international online dating site Match.com and faculty member at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute and Department of Gender studies.
As a reminder, months November through February are peak times on online sites and social events abound. Leverage these factors and the New Year to reset and take advantage of all the opportunities to form meaningful connections that 2016 brings. Our blog archive is chalk full of hard hitting advice and news you can use. Happy Holidays from the IM Editorial Team, where we remain Dedicated to Your Relationship Success.
Romance and Stress During the Peak Dating Season from December to February
by Justin Garcia
Eyecandy Images / ThinkStock.com
Although the holiday season brings a lot of joy and excitement, it can also bring a lot of stress because "the holidays can be a really stressful time in terms of trying to start new relationships and also getting out of previous relationships," according to Justin Garcia, a scientific advisor for the international online dating site Match.com, and faculty member at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute and Department of Gender studies.
Match.com's annual Singles in America study is the largest study on U.S. singles. According to the Match.com survey of 1,000 of their clients, 80 percent of survey respondents said holidays make them feel more romantic than other times of the year. Also, 25 percent reported experiencing a break-up during the holiday season.
The stress about relationships is particularly increased for the singles because inevitably many singles are grilled over the holidays about their solitary status, said Garcia. The survey by Match.com found that 14 percent of men and 10 percent of women admitted to dating someone during the holidays just to have someone to spend the holidays with. The peak online dating season is during the holidays, between December and February, as there is a 25 to 30 percent increase in new members registering at Match.com.
An unprecedented number of single Americans is now turning to the internet to find love. More than 27 percent reported that they have dated someone they met online, including social media sites such as Facebook and other chat groups. Also, 20 percent met their most recent first date online vs. 7 percent who met at a bar.
Garcia said online dating makes it convenient for people to be aware of singles living near or within their area of interest. However, he suggested people spend some time beforehand to think about what they want in a relationship and how they can communicate with their dates, before jumping to join the online dating sites. Garcia also said looking for a spouse is more complicated than just dating. Dating is meant to be fun and love comes after that, with time.
This week Innovative Match (IM) focuses on Huffington Post article "Separated But Not Divorced: Should You Date Him?” Author Jackie Pilossoph raises critical points for 40+ singles to consider as they navigate today’s increasingly complex dating landscape. She highlights the fact that many couples take months to finalize their divorces – even years – for financial reasons; ruling potential partners out who are not yet fully divorced may result in missed opportunities. IM's CEO and Founder Cassie Zampa-Keim’s dating “rules for the road” align with many opinions expressed in the article, however, she believes that singles should avoid dating those still living with their ex-partner. A shared home is not an ideal place to begin a romance and that person may not be ready to start a new chapter.
Above all, singles must listen to one another’s stories and engage in honest communication. Put yourself in the driver's seat and voice your concerns and questions early. This way you can pave a comfortable, smooth road rather than relying on assumptions and succumbing to insecurities.
We hope you enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey down The Romance Highway.
“Dating After Divorce: Directions for Re-Entry” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from perfectmatch.com provides straightforward, realistic advice for those re-entering the dating scene after a divorce or a loss. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
Many singles come to Innovative Match (IM) asking how long it will be before they should start dating after losing a loved one, whether they experienced an unfortunate death or a divorce. While there is no perfect timeline, the questions and insights served up in this IM blog can help you to find and use your own “dating/relationship compass."
Lisa Field’s article on WebMD is an IM favorite. Field’s piece aggregates expert advice from leading authors, PhDs, counselors and psychologists focused on divorce and relationships and provides excellent insights to help you assess your “dating readiness.”
Being ready to get back on The Romance Highway depends on your emotional state and your motivation. Re-entering the dating arena could take a few months or years. However, if you are able to thoroughly address the following questions, you may be on the right path:
1. What have you learned from your past relationships?
Each ended partnership is a lesson. In order to avoid repeating things that caused you pain in the past, you should examine the pros and cons of each major previous relationship. We highlighted a proven exercise in a past blog that you can do with a confidante. If you can be honest about what worked and, more importantly, what didn’t work with your exes, you may be ready to look for a new partner.
2. How are you different today?
When we jump back into the dating scene, we often falsely believe that we are the same person whom we were when we engaged with our last partner. Perform a self-assessment – how have you changed since then? Have you cultivated new hobbies or have your priorities shifted? Maybe the exit of your last partner has lifted a burden off of your shoulders and now you want to pursue ideas you have kept bottled up inside. You are likely a changed person from when you entered your last relationship, whether changes happened because of choice or because of circumstance. Realize those changes and the changes you want to make before engaging with someone new.
3. How are you going to meet new people?
This is perhaps the hardest question to answer, even when you are emotionally ready to start dating again. Some people may choose to invest in matchmaking services. Cassie Zampa-Keim, IM’s CEO and Founder, is a firm believer that (whether you invest in professional search services or not) you should also be your own matchmaker.
Finding a new date is a bit like networking; put behind your fears and attend events and engage in activities that interest you! Ask friends and family to introduce you to other singles. Online dating can seem like an ocean, but if you know what you’re looking for you can create a strong pool of candidates to choose from. Use the sites and search parameters that are best for your current situation. Most importantly, be honest about your status: separated, divorced, widowed, etc. Only when you can acknowledge your current state are you truly ready to move forward.
It may feel uncomfortable to let yourself be vulnerable in the dating arena, especially since it has been a while since you’ve tried to meet other singles. While you may experience “learning detours” and “emotional speed bumps” along the way, with the right attitude and resilience, you can present the best version of yourself to potential matches and enjoy an expansive, new relationship journey. Once you have established what you want and learned from your past relationships, you are likely to be successful on The Romance Highway.
"Every decade people seem to get younger and younger. You can still be vibrant and youthful in your fifties and sixties and beyond. Take care of yourself, live life with purpose, and aim to be someone you’d want to date. Stay connected and involved. Meet people. Volunteer, take classes, attend events, and spend quality time with good friends. If you’re self-assured, prioritizing what matters and pursuing the things you love, you’re living a full life. And that, no matter what your age, is attractive."
Dating in Your 50s” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from eHarmony provides unbeatable tips for those in their 50s entering the dating scene. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
Many of Innovative Match’s (IM) clients in the 50+ crowd are often overwhelmed by the seemingly endless variety of online dating sites available. Even though certain sites are targeted at mature singles and have gained stellar reputations, this random process leaves many people unfulfilled.
Working with websites like Match.com and OkCupid for many years, IM’s CEO and Founder, Cassie Zampa-Keim, has been able to humanize this random searching process as well as create accurate, stand out profiles for her clients. Nicknamed “the woman behind the computer” due to years of experience with both IM clients and popular onsite dating sites (and their dating “pools”), Cassie has led the IM team to produce record results. IM community members have met many compatible 50+ singles in major markets (New York, Los Angeles, Boston, San Francisco, etc.). The IM matchmaking team has learned to sift through hundreds of profiles in record time to find those candidates with the highest potential.
While it is tempting to join major brand-name online dating sites, often clients benefit more from smaller, boutique websites. The IM team highly recommends The Right Stuff, a website that accepts users of any age who are graduates of select top universities in the world. This website provides an excellent combination of autonomy of choosing from a large database of users while also making sure the users are pre-screened and handpicked.
Cassie and the IM team continue to be excited about The Right Stuff’s growth. Both firms emphasize personalized databases. IM has curated offline networks in New York, San Francisco, and Boston. The Right Stuff has expanded to have an international, hand-picked online community. This service is led by a high profile team of professionals and recently the president, Dawne Touchings, spoke with Cassie about their services. The Right Stuff’s focus is on connecting prestigious alumni from all over the world in their pursuit of romance. The firm’s website has an easy interface and straightforward application process; it is a resource IM clients benefit from greatly.
Aside from being a platform for meeting elite singles, The Right Stuff serves the dual purpose of being a networking tool. Unlike other dating sites, clients will not have to face the possibility of fake profiles or singles not willing to meet. When The Right Stuff singles meet, even if romantic chemistry is not there, both parties network with a peer who can serve other areas of their lives. The Right Stuff sets up clients for a win-win situation.
Regardless of the site or service you are using, your journey on the Romance Highway should be filled with motivation, hope, and resilience. Your journey will only lead to success with the right tools and attitude. With the help of IM, we hope you find the outlets that suit you best.
“The 3 Biggest Dating Dealbreakers For Those Over 50” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from Huffington Post by Ronnie Ann Ryan provides insightful tips for those in the dating scene. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
“Dating, Poofing and the Summer 'Vacation Effect'” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from eHarmony by Sarah Elizabeth Richards provides excellent tips for handling summer dating. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
Many singles have yet to start or are struggling with their journey on the Romance Highway. In this post, Innovative Match (IM) provides tools to help you be your own matchmaker. Whether you are using a traditional matchmaking firm or not, the following expert practices can help you optimize your skills as your own relationship coach & recruiter and increase the chances of finding the right relationship for you.
1. Address the Biggest Excuses That Are Stopping You
2. Remove Relationship Roadblocks
Learning from your past can be a critical first step to being the best version of yourself while searching for romance. A new IM client, Sue (name changed for privacy), had been in and out of former relationships for years and was seeking her ideal match. Near Valentine’s Day, Sue became despondent, as many singles do at this time. She came to the IM office seeking solutions for her dating burnout. The key to Sue’s acceleration on the Romance Highway was to identify the patterns that were slowing her down.
The IM team recommended a simple exercise:
- Have your relationship coach or a trusted loved one grab a piece of paper
- Make columns for your three most recent serious relationships (at least 6 months long).
- Talk about each relationship; list the positives and negatives of each one. Make sure to list why the relationships ended and what the deal breakers were.
- Take a look at the reasons why each relationship ended and search for a common denominator – what theme did each break up have in common?
- If you’ve been with the same partner for many years, and are newly single, make two columns -- one to identify the aspects of the relationship that were empowering, that you liked the most and one for those that you would like to change with future partners.
Clients often come to IM exhausted from staying in the wrong relationships for months or years and discouraged by meeting and remaining with people who were not ideal fits for them. By recognizing habits and patterns, you can start the process of finding your match.
3. Qualify Like a Pro: Know When to Move On
A key to finding the right relationship is deciding early on whether or not to continue dating someone. This requires looking past initial fireworks and delving deeper to determine long term compatibility. Humans are creatures of habit, but with determination and motivation, you can stop dating people who may not be optimal matches and make room for healthy relationships.
4. Be Your Own Coach and Recruiter
If you have the resources, consider working with professionals such as a relationship coach or mental health professional. Hiring a matchmaker to find new prospects is also an alternative, but don’t feel obliged to limit yourself to that one option. Remember that a matchmaker may require large emotional and financial investments, but their candidate pools can be small. Actions such as joining online dating sites can expose you to thousands of new people.
Embrace the adventure of becoming your own relationship “head hunter.” Buddy up with other single friends who can serve as sounding boards and cheerleaders. You can always turn to books and loved ones to work on these issues as well. Join online dating sites and craft a stellar online dating profile to maximize your results. If you enjoy reading books but can’t find a book club, start one. Join a gym, class or sports club. Go to a restaurant alone, dine at the bar and expose yourself to new faces. Finally, ensure that friends and loved ones know that you’re actively looking. Often, they will be on alert for potential candidates, as well as for places and activities where you might meet like-minded singles.
5. Maintain a Resilience Regimen
Be resilient and date smart. Pause and reflect on the experiences you have had thus far. Learning from your past can be a critical first step to being the best version of yourself while searching for romance. Don’t hesitate to get started after you’ve reflected. Once you have put yourself in a position to meet new people, have fun. The final step is to believe that you can find the right partner. We can give you the tools and advice, but resilience will carry you to success on the Romance Highway.
"Did you just get out of a relationship and find yourself single again? Has the dating scene changed since you were last out there? Are you out of practice in meeting new people to date?" “Dating Tips For The Newly Single” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from SheKnows by Tonja Evetts Weimer provides stellar strategies for getting back on to the dating scene. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
Let the facts and figures from this article give you some great lucky-in-love ideas—including where to go to meet people and how to wow them. “Dating Stats You Should Know: Numbers About Love That Make a Difference” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award. Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from by Meredith Broussard covers important stats and facts to push you forward in your search for love. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
“Chemistry versus compatibility; what’s more important?” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this article from The Independent by Amy Loudon covers one of the most talked about romance topics of 2014. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway. "Chemistry versus compatibility; what's more important?" by Amy Loudon
“Find Love Over The Holidays" receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this Match.com article by Margot Carmichael Lester reminds why this festive season can be extra special. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.
The holidays can be a joyous time but also a stressful one. With the right attitude and advice, you can enter 2015 more confident and ready for romance than ever. The Innovative Match (IM) matchmakers have compiled a list of first-class recommendations to get you through the season with your head high and a positive mindset. 1. The Holidays Are About LoveHowever, love does not require being in a relationship. Take moments to remember and appreciate the amazing parts of your life. If you are single, make the holidays about self-love, not about wishing you were with someone.
2. Relish Freedom Being unattached allows you to set your own holiday schedule and take charge of your plans. Make appointments for pampering dates with yourself. Check out eHarmony’s article “5 Great Reasons To Be Single During the Holidays.” Focus on being the best version of you and a holiday glow will radiate in your everyday life.
3. Steer Clear of Holiday Blues A positive attitude is key to acceleration on the Romance Highway. If you take charge and keep your eyes on your goals, stress and negativity will be left in the dust. This may mean abstaining from checking your online dating accounts too frequently. Reflect on what is best for you this season and stay focused.
4. Opportunities Are Knocking – Answer the Door It’s a festive, ideal time to reconnect with old friends and meet new people. Have a few minutes of down time? Call or email someone you’ve lost touch with and wish them happy holidays. Browse your online dating matches and send messages. A seasonal greeting may lead to a great connection!
5. Become a Holiday Party Pro Hit the holiday party circuit beaming! If you’re single, these events land you in a social setting where potential partners can find you. Follow these IM tips on how to look fabulous and make an unforgettable impression. Ask the host to introduce you to whoever catches your eye. Check out these great tips for solo party goers from Part 4 of bestselling author Leila Lowndes’ book How to Instantly Connect with Anyone!. Leverage party pointers from Midsummer’s Eve (the UK and Ireland's award-winning dating site) and you may leave with a new first date on your schedule!
6. In a New Relationship? Holiday Nourish It! This winter season presents phenomenal opportunities to pursue fun with a new companion; suggest dinner and the theater or holiday shopping with a date. AskMen provides novel seasonal ideas for making romance magic.
7. Look Fabulous for the Holidays An easy trap to fall into is over eating and a lack of exercise. Check out this must read article from the great Huffington Post editorial team: “Holiday Survival Guide: 8 Strategies to Avoid Overeating”.
8. Start Your New Year’s Dating Resolutions Now Consider New Year’s resolutions that can help you to achieve your romantic goals. If you haven’t dated online, start now. If you’re on a site, join one or two more. It’s a “numbers” game; to be selective you need a large pool of potential candidates. Maybe your online profile needs a tweak – or a makeover. IM clients have seen results double and their quality of matches dramatically improve by changing screen names, updating photos and profiles. Also, take stock and reassess the many other options for maximizing dating opportunities.
This season revolves largely around gratitude, connecting with others, reflection and new beginnings - an ideal climate in which to celebrate yourself, those you love, and your romance journey. Happy Holidays from the entire IM team!
“Debunking the Biggest Myths of Dating Over 40” receives this week’s Innovative Match (IM) Recognition Award! Recommended by the IM Editorial Team, this eHarmony article by Bobbi Palmer wins our nod of approval for the valuable message it promotes. We hope you’ll enjoy this informative read as you continue your journey on the Romance Highway.