The Health Benefits of Strong Relationships

I am a firm believer of the power of human connection and living a longer, healthier life.  This article was written in the Harvard Health Publishing at Harvard Medical School.  I have shared my personal story about having cancer when I was in my early twenties.  UCSF and Stanford said I would not live past 50.  I turn 50 this coming to November and I attribute my health and life to my husband and our relationship.  I have spent the last year researching the correlation between human connection and living longer.   There are studies out there that have confirmed my belief.  Although this article focuses on the Holidays, it is relevant at any time.



8 Mantras Every Single Woman Should Be Living In 2018

Instead of setting unrealistic expectations for 2018, here’s to embracing some simple mantras that can be applied to all parts of our life - love life included.  I found this article uplifting and helpful.  Obviously I agree with point number three which is about giving online dating a real chance but I disagree with the recommended sites.  I have been helping singles for the last decade using online dating sites as their main avenue of meeting people.  I have never used Zoosk or Behavioral Matchmaking.  I have used Elite Matchamaking which is just OK.  The two go to sites that I believe are the best are and OKCupid.  I have had great luck with both these sites.  Here's the full article - Top Ten Best Dating Sites.



Dating After a Divorce - Are You Ready?

Many Innovative Match clients are re-entering the dating world after losing a partner, whether it is through divorce or unfortunate circumstances. This blog by Lisa Fields of WebMD goes through questions to ask yourself and signals to look for that may indicate whether or not you're ready to get on the Romance Highway. Keep in mind, the dating world has most likely changed a bit since the last time you were in it. If you're open to new experiences, accepting challenges, and learning about yourself and others, you are on the right track.

Insight on How to Avoid Letting Holiday Stress Becoming Dating Stress

Holidays can be one of the more challenging times of the year for singles. According to a recent survey, close to 40% of singles said that the holiday season is when they most want to be in a relationship. Rather than let stress snow on your holiday cheer, embrace a positive attitude and sound advice to guide you through a wonderful season. This week we want to share a stellar article from Seniorific featuring words of wisdom from Justin Garcia, a scientific advisor for the international online dating site and faculty member at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute and Department of Gender studies.

As a reminder, months November through February are peak times on online sites and social events abound. Leverage these factors and the New Year to reset and take advantage of all the opportunities to form meaningful connections that 2016 brings. Our blog archive is chalk full of hard hitting advice and news you can use.  Happy Holidays from the IM Editorial Team, where we remain Dedicated to Your Relationship Success.


Romance and Stress During the Peak Dating Season from December to February

Although the holiday season brings a lot of joy and excitement, it can also bring a lot of stress because "the holidays can be a really stressful time in terms of trying to start new relationships and also getting out of previous relationships," according to Justin Garcia, a scientific advisor for the international online dating site, and faculty member at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute and Department of Gender studies.'s annual Singles in America study is the largest study on U.S. singles. According to the survey of 1,000 of their clients, 80 percent of survey respondents said holidays make them feel more romantic than other times of the year. Also, 25 percent reported experiencing a break-up during the holiday season.

The stress about relationships is particularly increased for the singles because inevitably many singles are grilled over the holidays about their solitary status, said Garcia. The survey by found that 14 percent of men and 10 percent of women admitted to dating someone during the holidays just to have someone to spend the holidays with. The peak online dating season is during the holidays, between December and February, as there is a 25 to 30 percent increase in new members registering at

An unprecedented number of single Americans is now turning to the internet to find love. More than 27 percent reported that they have dated someone they met online, including social media sites such as Facebook and other chat groups. Also, 20 percent met their most recent first date online vs. 7 percent who met at a bar.

Garcia said online dating makes it convenient for people to be aware of singles living near or within their area of interest. However, he suggested people spend some time beforehand to think about what they want in a relationship and how they can communicate with their dates, before jumping to join the online dating sites. Garcia also said looking for a spouse is more complicated than just dating. Dating is meant to be fun and love comes after that, with time.

Is the Political Climate Hurting Relationships?

For almost thirty years, I’ve been introducing men and women to each other and watching happily as thousands of them have found the relationship they had been seeking. Throughout that time, clients have rarely, if ever, mentioned political affiliation as a deal-breaker in finding a mate. Religion, geographic location, whether they have kids or not, whether they have been married or not, and whether they share similar lifestyles, yes. Politics, no. 

All that changed with the last presidential election. Suddenly people are becoming very black-and-white about whom they will even sit down with. I read over 100 profiles a day on online dating sites, and for the first time ever I am seeing statements like, “I am not interested in anybody who voted for [pick your candidate].” In the past, people have told me they identified as middle-of-the-road and were willing to talk to people of either party. In today’s polarized environment, there doesn’t appear to be any halfway point, and certainly no talking.

I grew up in a household where one parent was a lifelong Democrat, the other a staunch Republican. Almost fifty years later, they are still happily married, even if their ballots don’t always look the same. A 2016 study out of Yale University found that about 70% of people marry someone who shares political affiliation. That means three out of ten people don’t. The study didn’t go into how those marriages succeed, but one can imagine that they either don’t care too much about politics, respect each other’s opinion--even when it differs from theirs--or just decide not to talk politics and focus instead on the other successful factors in their relationship.
So why is that becoming so difficult now? People have always had their own values and ethics, but why are they attaching politics so strongly to those factors now? The political climate has definitely become polarized like never before. There is a sense that you have to stand on the far end of the see saw to balance out whatever you see as a problem in the other party’s platform. Truly middle-of-the-road voices are being drowned out, or branded as weak on issues by both sides. 
Maybe the problem is less political leaning and more how it is presented. Rather than commercial soundbites or 140-character Tweets, what we need is calm, open-minded discussions about our views, why we have them, how they were formed, and why we might hold them especially close. We don’t have to agree on everything, but listening to the other side can educate us about the way issues are perceived and give us a chance to question or confirm our own beliefs.
This only works if both parties are willing, of course, but such a dialogue would go a long way not only toward a more peaceful co-existence, but in my line of work, it would open up (again) broader possibilities for finding love. No one has to fall in love with someone of the opposite political persuasion, but it can’t hurt to have a discussion over coffee.


Fall Dating is Around the Corner

Fall is a more serious time of year.  It’s when all the commotion from summer fizzles and we get back into the swing of our routines. This slowing down process is part of what makes fall the perfect time for love.  In 2012, Facebook Data Science released a study that calculated seasonal patterns of relationships in Facebook profiles. During the fall months, more singles were changing their status to "In A Relationship" and "Engaged". Fall proves to be a good time for love because we all want someone to spend winter and the holidays with. 

Date nights are even better in the fall. A recent study conducted by researchers at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology found that when the weather starts getting colder, our choice of movies starts to get warmer. Men and women are more likely to choose romantic comedies during the frigid months due to the connection between physical and psychological sensations. Feeling cold results in the desire for warmth. There's never been a better time to get closer to your sweetheart by watching The Notebook.

We can now stop dreading the end of the exhilarating highs of summer and look forward to fall, where there’s a possibility of something even more magical to happen.

Little Ways to Get Out of an Online Dating Slump

Once you've overcome your fear of getting into the online dating scene, it's important to maximize your presence and use your time efficiently in order to get the right matches. Men can get discouraged when women don't answer their messages and women can feel disappointed when they aren't hearing from the men that caught their eye. If you're finding yourself feeling this way, has provided outstanding tips to get you out of this rut. Sometimes it takes a new picture while other times taking a break from certain sites can help you reset. Find all of the other tips here on Match's happen blog.

Don't Fear Dating in Your 50s

Although the number of singles in their 50s is growing, it can still seem daunting to put yourself out there. Luckily, with the right guidance, you can feel more confident meeting individuals who could be a good match for you. While some rules of dating have changed, some haven't. Most importantly, be honest and patient in your travels down the Romance Highway. Get the full details of these amazing dating tips in eHarmony's article "Dating in Your 50s" by the eHarmony staff.