Warning: Spoilers ahead.
Whether you rooted for Carrie and Big to get together or finally move on, it's hard to imagine a world without him in it. But their relationship, fictitious as it was, was one Carrie and many of us who drank Cosmopolitans at home with her, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha in the '90s can relate to. And one we can, in our 50-something-year-old bodies, learn from, especially about what love in our fifties is all about. And that's this.
Forgiveness
I admit, when the montage began to roll at Big's funeral, I teared up. The fault I found with his treatment of Carrie before they finally tied the knot suddenly faded into distant memory. John Preston was larger than life, and his life was over regardless of how I felt about it.
A mourner in the show brought me back to reality, commenting about whether Carrie remembered how badly he treated her. I'm sure she did. But based on their easy banter before Big's final Peloton ride, she had clearly forgiven him. The only explanation I have for understanding the power forgiveness has to bring peace to one's life is age and the wisdom that comes with it.
Growth
Was Carrie wrong to forgive Big so many times, given what he put her through? If I were her guiding her, I would have likely told her to move on, with one caveat: he must demonstrate he's capable of change.
Big indeed showed growth over the years. Most women wouldn't have hung in there that long, and there's a strong case for arguing Carrie should have left him years earlier or not let him back into her life every time he returned.
It appears Carrie made a good bet even with terrible odds. That's because people in their fifties are capable of growth and maturity with the right tools. Big grew bigger.
Maturity
It wasn't only Big who matured. Carrie did, too. They also matured as a couple.
I loved how they continued their pandemic tradition of playing a different album every night while making dinner together. They set aside time to be with each other, to enjoy each other's company without distraction.
In our fifties, we know what the alternative looks like.
Acceptance
What our fifties reveal is that we're all flawed people. Because of that, the quality of the relationships we find ourselves in turn on how we manage the parts of our personality that make us who we are. Not only do we realize we're flawed, we understand we have to find the right person who will accept those flaws and embrace them.
When we love, we must also love wholly. That includes the parts of others we perceive as both good and bad. Our deal breakers are personal. With our fifties comes experience and the ability to know what and who works for us — and doesn't.
Resilience
No one gets to their fifties without experiencing loss. It's not a question of if we've faced it but, instead, how well we've learned to face our lives after losing someone we care about.
The time leading up to our fifties has shown us that love lives forever, even if the people who we love and who love us aren't always with us. We're changed — and stronger — for having known them.
Though Big is gone, I'm changed for having known him and the relationship he shared with Carrie, good and bad. And with that, I will continue to watch to see how Carrie goes on without him. Because that's what having love in our lives can do — carry us through.