What Everybody Over 45 Needs to Know About Finding Their Ideal Mate

Welcome to the inaugural Ask Cass blog! Innovative Match is excited to shed light on an area that is often neglected - online dating over 45. In this post, we address the top misconceptions that can derail a successful online dating experience.

Myth #1:  The guys I like are NOT on online dating sites!

Think again. 40 million people (40% of the single American population) use online dating services and that number is growing daily!  Almost 20% of people who married in the last two years reported that they met online.  But it’s not just for Generation Y. The age groups of who use online dating are changing. The over 45 set represents the fastest growing segment of this community.

Why would a successful, intelligent, motivated person use online dating?

Because they are successful, intelligent, and motivated! Online dating is the new trend and the best way to meet like-minded singles. Successful online daters are confident, goal-oriented and won't let what other people think get in their way.

There are at least a few hundred, if not thousands, of people out there who will be right for you!

Myth #2: My profile is perfect

You have one shot with the people who come across your profile online.

Either they will be amazed or they will move on to the thousands of other candidates vying for their attention. Ask yourself - are you someone whom you would want to go on a first date with?

Ask your friends to describe your best traits to aid in building the ultimate online profile.

Most importantly, being your best self online involves liking who you are today. For example, don’t put up photos from 10 years ago.

Myth #3: I'll look desperate


Since when did being proactive become confused with being desperate?

One of the biggest challenges people face when beginning to online date is feeling uncomfortable with what others will think.

When you go out for a cocktail with a friend one evening, do you hide if someone beautiful or handsome approaching you?  Likely not. It is human nature (and very socially acceptable) to desire companionship. There is no shame in meeting people at the electronic cocktail party either.

Myth #4: I'm the CEO of [Insert Fortune 500 Company Here] and my reputation will be ruined

There are many solutions to the “professional reputation” concern:

1. Hide your profile or pictures so that only people you are interested in can see who you are

2. Use tools to verify who your matches are

3. Revisit your concern.  To maximize your potential, be visible so that you appear in searches. Recognize that attending the electronic cocktail party is not something that should be viewed as a flaw, but should be applauded and thought of as the norm.

Myth #5: I've been trying forever and have found no one

Re-evaluate how you have been "trying." Have you invested in fabulous photos that reflect your best current self?  Have you written the “Ultimate Dating profile”?

Do you scroll through profiles and never show interest? Do you ignore messages always finding something wrong with the person? Are you on websites that cater to the specific group you're interested in?

Recognize that online dating is a journey. Approach it with a positive attitude. Be open, and know that that person is out there.  Persistence is key.

Remember, it only takes one match to change your life.

Myth #6: It’s just not the right time for me to get involved

We procrastinate because we fear risk and rejection. Address procrastination head on.

It is always the right time to meet the person you might spend the rest of your life with. Make time to meet new people wherever you are in life. Saying yes is the first step to your happiness.

Don’t look at dating as a one-way street to a set destination.  View the search for love as wide freeway full of options. Online dating is just another exit, another avenue of opportunity to meet someone. You may still meet someone via a fix up or at an event.  However, when one is over 45 the dating world shrinks. Why cut yourself off from the abundance of online opportunities to not only meet romantic prospects, but also potentially new contacts, friends, and business partners?

Consider this blog to be a resource as you journey down the romance highway. We'll see you next week for the top ways to have the best attitude towards online dating!