One of the biggest issues I have found in guiding love is the managing the idea of the BBD (the Bigger, Better Deal). For instance, you have a first date with a match. It goes well. You see some attractive attributes and possibilities for a relationship. BUT - you get a new profile on your dating app that shows someone who looks more attractive or intriguing: physically, financially, or SOMETHING else, and you disregard the connection you had with the previous date. You don’t give the connection the chance to run its course. This is the addiction of the online dating world: “swiping” to see the next “better” option.
I work with my clients to foster a new dating mindset - how to tackle dating in this new world of technology: this world of fast paced dating apps and the environment it brings. Most of my clients come to me from one of the following scenarios:
1. The recent widow or divorcee: How do I enter the realm of dating at my age? I’m recently divorced or widowed and I want to foster a new relationship. How do I do that?
2. The frustrated single: I have been in the dating realm for a period of time, but am growing increasingly frustrated. Why hasn’t it worked? How do I get it to work?
3. The newbie: I have never been married. I have focused on my career, but now, I am ready to find love and a solid relationship. How do I make this next step in my life successful?
Wherever you fall in these three categories, pay attention to the NOW of where you are, and understand there is no quick fix to matchmaking. Dating is a journey and when done right, is fun too! Don’t always chase the Bigger, Better Deal and with patience you will find that right one.
Below are some links to great articles about online dating and modern love.