Congrats! You’ve mustered the courage to start your online dating journey. With your well-written, confident and fabulous profile -- plus 4 - 6 attractive photos -- you’re ready to roll. Maximize your chances of success with Innovative Match’s (IM) “Ultimate Dating Guide for Women 45+”! Be sure to read all of the linked articles, carefully curated by the IM Social Media team. 1. Take Control You’re 45+ and crazy busy, so mastering the online time management game is key! Take 5 minutes to read Bonny Alba’s “Making Time for Love” and map out a plan. To “outsource” some of the process, explore reputable relationship coaches or matchmaking firms such as IM.
2. Commit to the Process
Online dating is a marathon, not a sprint. Log on to your online dating accounts (recall, we recommend at least 2) several times a week to check profile views, likes, winks, evaluate matches, respond and prospect.
3. Make the First Move
Jane Austen would have contacted men, and so should you! IM, relationship experts and matchmakers agree that outreach is an essential (and empowering) tactic! Narrow your criteria to those whom you will realistically complement, but don’t be overly selective. Online dating is a numbers game; contact at least 12+ men a week in addition to responding to those who email you. Adjust your goals as you begin to date.
4. Be Compelling
Online introductions and language are as important as meeting in person. Review OK Cupid’s tutorial to capture interest and perfect your early communications etiquette.
5. Opt for Old School
Someone can articulate their personality beautifully online, but if you sense potential match magic, get to the phone. No need to chat for hours; 20 minutes can reveal hobbies, backgrounds, common interests and goals. People are often reluctant to share their number for security reasons, but modern technology offers numbers that are private or untraceable.
6. Avoid “Email-Phone Date” Quicksand Is your goal to meet “Mr. Right” or “Mr. Right Now”? Assuming it’s the former, meet ASAP. If he doesn’t beat you to the punch, one approach is to end your call with a breezy (no pressure, please), “Well, it’s been great chatting; I’ve got to call my [father, friend, sibling etc. - he/she needs some help/advice], but I’d love to make a plan to get together and continue the conversation.” If he feels the same, he’ll respond on the spot or shortly thereafter. If he doesn’t, it may be time to move on.
7. Google and Gut Check
Think Nancy Drew. In addition to phone speak, be an Internet detective. Often, the info you need is just a few keystrokes away. If you're still uncomfortable with the prospect of meeting someone, don't. You have zero obligations to meet people who make you feel “iffy.”
8. Hold Fast to Power and Self-Esteem Online dating can take a toll; work to maintain your confidence and resilience. Identify those in your network who can be wingmen or supportive. Keep your sense of humor and fun in tact; smiling and laughter are great mood lifters! Finally, be mindful of your schedule and state of mind in order to avoid dating burn out.
Now that your inbox is filling up, lean back, breathe and celebrate your grand adventure. You’ll learn about yourself, encounter new people and experiences, and with time and effort, likely meet the love of your life.
Think of us as a dating GPS and check back for more tips and directions along the way.
Happy Travels!