In "normal" times, i.e., before COVID, being single and dating around the holidays meant sometimes dealing with uncomfortable social situations. Remember the holiday party scene in "Bridget Jones' Diary" when Bridget had to field a slew of awkward questions at the dinner table about her dating life from fellow coupled guests?
It was excruciating for her and me as I watched, but I must say, I gave the girl credit. As much as she dreaded those parties, she went and put herself out there. So did her reindeer jumper-wearing future beau, Mark, who she kept running into at those parties.
Good thing those two shared a common trait, which is perseverance, something every successful dater has. So if you typically declined those holiday invitations, now's the perfect time to change your ways. Dating takes effort, beginning with showing up.
Now get off the couch and get dressed! Put on your big girl underpants and big boy boxers because you've got a holiday gathering (or five) coming up on your calendar, whether over Zoom or outside and socially distanced.
Do the holidays offer any advantages for clients looking to date?
Even in the middle of a pandemic, the answer is opportunity, opportunity, opportunity! How many times can I say it? A lot because it's true.
Look at every invitation you receive at holiday time as a gift, even if it's to a virtual event. Someone else is doing the work for you by putting together eclectic groups of people you may not ordinarily have a chance to meet or socialize with, even if they're people you already know from work, the neighborhood, or your children's school.
A holiday gathering can change the context of your interaction in a positive way, allowing you to get to know others in a more casual, personal manner. You're at a party, not a marketing or PTO meeting. 'Tis the season to be merry, so smile and RSVP yes!
How has Covid-19 and social distancing rules affected dating, especially around the holiday season?
A COVID Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwaanza are new for everyone, so there's likely to be a lot of variation in how people choose to celebrate. What that means is you have the freedom to choose what makes you comfortable and what doesn't.
Holiday gatherings will be smaller this year, which can give you a prime opportunity to get to know the people you meet more intimately. They won't be distracted by lots of other guests, so you can use your chance meeting to either get to know the person you're conversing with better or put the word out there that you're single and looking to meet someone.
Some holiday gatherings may not happen in person at all, which can also be to your advantage. If you're not clicking with the group on one particular Zoom holiday cocktail hour or party, feel free to leave after about 20 minutes. Just make sure you've given it the old college try before saying your goodbyes.
Be sure to connect with the organizer afterward, letting them know you're open to meeting someone in their network who may not have been on the call or someone who was and inquires about you after you all disconnect. The point is to make sure you're open and available, even if you're communicating through a screen.
Then log in to the next virtual holiday get-together, whose invite may still be collecting dust in your inbox. Meet as many people as you can, even online. It could very well lead to a meeting in real life.
Don't get involved in any reindeer games.
Etiquette rules still apply, even during a pandemic when meeting someone may require a little more ingenuity and positivity on your part. So keep your relationship goals in sight and your standards high.
If someone treats you with disrespect, missing (virtual) dates, forgetting to call, or urging you to converse in a way that doesn't make you comfortable, pull the plug, literally. And remind yourself that the most valuable holiday gift you can give and receive this season is your best self.