When you first connect with the person you’re dating on social media, you don’t typically think about what you’ll do about your digital connections should you break up. But it can be a genuine concern if you and your partner eventually go your separate ways. More than that, you each might have different opinions on the subject of whether to disconnect with someone you’re no longer dating — right after the breakup and as time passes.
In an effort to look cool or mature, you might decide to let your social media connections be. Or agree to stay friends and keep in touch, which would implicitly include staying connected on social media. But then, one day, lo and behold, you find yourself blocked and can’t help but wonder why. After all, you (probably) didn’t do anything to provoke them. So what gives?
Below are possible reasons your ex suddenly blocked you on social media and maybe elsewhere, too. And what you should (or shouldn’t) do about it.
Your ex wants distance.
Even if you’re not actively reaching out to your ex, social media algorithms can make it so that your face will regularly pop up in your ex’s feed. Even if they’re not actively seeking your profile out, their day can be derailed every time you post photos.
Seeing what you’re up to on social media might make them uncomfortable, potentially awakening old feelings they once had. Or cause them to have the heebie-jeebies. They might have needed to take matters into their own hands by blocking you.
Your ex is trying to move on.
Even if you’re not regularly posting on social media, your ex might still be stalking your page — checking regularly to see if you’re online, who’s following you, or what else you’re up to. They might not want to know what’s happening in your life and could be struggling with the temptation to check your page and keep tabs on you.
Eventually, they might decide that enough is enough, and it’s time for them to move on. So they block you to prevent themselves from checking up on you.
Your ex doesn’t want to see you enjoying life without them.
When going through a breakup after a relationship, some people like to think they’re so unique that it would be impossible for their former partner’s life to go on without them. However, that’s not true. The sun rises the next day after a breakup, and eventually, everyone moves on (hopefully).
The idea is to regroup following a breakup and come to enjoy life without your ex in it, just as you did before you met them. However, your ability to move on can harm your ex’s ego. They might not wish to see you living the good life without them, so they block you.
Your ex is trying to protect themselves from your toxic behavior.
Have you been regularly contacting your ex? Whether it’s drunk texts, simple “Hey, how have you been?” texts now and then, or even shady subtweets, your cycling in and out of your ex’s digital life after a breakup could be harmful to their mental health. Because of this hot and cold behavior, your ex might find themselves struggling to move on and block you as a means of self-preservation.
Your ex thinks you’ve moved on.
Everyone knows that social media can be misleading. When online, we portray the very best version of ourselves. After a breakup, you might post that you’ve been hitting the gym, started taking pottery classes, or went on a trip to Europe, even though, in reality, you sob into your pillow every night because you miss your ex.
Your ex, however, only sees what you post. Therefore, it might seem to your ex that you’ve moved on from the relationship, despite you missing them terribly. As a result, your ex might want to move on, too, which could start by blocking you.
Your ex has moved on.
This reason is the one that everyone pining over an ex following a breakup fears, so it’s worth discussing. Maybe your breakup was amicable, and you agreed to remain friends and keep in touch. However, as time passed, your ex’s feelings about keeping in touch changed, and they decided they wanted to break off contact completely instead, despite your previous agreement. The result is that they blocked you.
Alternatively, after your breakup, your ex might not have gotten around to removing you from social media and recently started seeing someone new. In this case, they might want their privacy or not want to hurt your feelings, so they blocked you from their social media profiles before you could see any pictures they’ve begun posting of their new person.
In the same vein, they might have blocked your number. This way, you couldn’t text and potentially cause trouble for them in their new relationship.
Should you contact your ex if they block you?
No. Your ex blocked you because they don’t want to hear from you, not because they do. So don’t try to get around their blocking you by reaching out through other platforms, friends, or by using a different phone number if they blocked you over text. Doing so would violate their boundaries and potentially push them further away.
Even on the off chance they blocked you because they’re trying to use “no contact” as a way to get you back, to get a reaction out of you, or for any other manipulative reason such as purely trying to be dramatic, then the act of blocking suggests emotional immaturity. In this case, you shouldn’t want this person in your life anyway and, consequently, shouldn’t reach out.
Final thoughts …
Rejection hurts. But as you practice self-care and respect your ex’s decision to move on, you’ll find that the pain of them blocking you should lessen over time. If it doesn’t, consider speaking with a mental health professional who can provide extra support to help get you through this difficult time.
Until you let your ex go and stop holding space for them in your life, the only person you’ll continue to block is someone who wants to be there. Someone you probably haven’t met yet.