Online dating has forever changed the way people find love, creating a virtual marketplace for romance. With it, though, it also brought along its own language, and sometimes decoding it can become a bit of a challenge.
So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “What does this person mean?” pay attention. I have the quintessential guide to understanding what dating profiles really say.
1. “I hate filling these things out.”
This phrase might suggest a lack of enthusiasm or effort when it comes to the online dating process. While it’s perfectly understandable to find creating a dating profile tedious or daunting, expressing your disdain for it outright could indicate an overall apathetic approach toward dating, which may not align with someone seeking a serious commitment.
2. “Just ask.”
Related to the previous statement, “Just ask” can also be a harbinger of bad things to come. While this may seem like an open invitation for communication, it can also imply a lack of effort in providing initial information.
Online dating profiles serve as an opportunity to present oneself to potential matches; opting not to could suggest this person isn’t taking the process seriously, or worse, that they could be hiding something. You know, the old lying-by-omission trick.
3. “I’m an open book.”
This phrase is a sibling of “Just ask,” given how it is suggestive of valuing honesty and transparency. In theory, they’re ready to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
But, in some cases, it can also be a defense mechanism; this person puts everything out there to avoid getting hurt later. Beware of someone who tells you too much too fast.
4. “I love to travel.”
This line is frequently seen in online dating profiles, and it can mean different things. Primarily, it suggests the person enjoys experiencing new cultures, cuisines, and landscapes. It can also imply a level of financial stability, as travel is often associated with discretionary income. All good.
However, beware of those using it merely as a buzzword; ask about their favorite destinations, past, or their bucket list to see if their claims hold water. Do keep in mind that people’s situations can change over the span of a lifetime. So if they didn’t travel a lot in the past, don’t necessarily hold that against them. Instead, ask what they have on the calendar.
5. “I’m a homebody.”
The opposite of being a travel lover is being a homebody. While this phrase can simply mean the person prefers spending time at home over going out, it might also imply a tendency to avoid activities that require spending money, such as dining out, traveling, or attending events. It can also signal social anxiety.
6. “I love adventure.”
Those who describe themselves as adventure lovers often enjoy spontaneity and are open to new experiences. This might involve travel, outdoor activities, or just trying a new restaurant on a whim.
Keep in mind, however, that if you’re someone who enjoys routine and predictability, you might not sync well with an “adventurer,” depending on their flavor of adventure versus yours. So what will it be, Asian-Mexican fusion for dinner tonight or bungee jumping?
7. “Work hard, play hard.”
This phrase implies a strong work ethic, but it also hints at an equally enthusiastic approach to leisure time. These people tend to value their careers but also understand the importance of downtime. So far, so good.
But, if you’re a person who likes to relax in a quieter way, this type of high-energy lifestyle might not be a perfect match for you. Better to ask how much they work in an average week and how they like to enjoy their downtime. Playing hard can mean different things to different people.
8. “I’m just seeing what’s out there.”
This phrase often signals someone new to the online dating scene or someone who isn’t entirely sure what they’re looking for. They may be open to various types of connections — from friendship to romance — but might not have clear expectations or goals just yet. This person could be a great match if you’re similarly open-ended, but could be frustrating if you’re looking for a more definitive label.
9. “No drama.”
The phrase “No drama,” while initially appealing, can serve as a red flag. It may suggest previous tumultuous relationships, with the person now seeking more low-key interactions.
However, it could also imply a tendency to label any emotional discourse or disagreement as “drama,” which would indicate an unwillingness or inability to partake in healthy relationship communication. In the same vein, this phrase often signifies a potential lack of emotional maturity and readiness for a healthy relationship dynamic, suggesting the person may not be equipped to handle normal conflicts and discussions in a constructive manner.
10. “Family is very important to me.”
This statement usually suggests a strong connection to family, whether parents, siblings, or even a close-knit group of friends who are like family. It could imply that they value family events, traditions, and spending quality time with loved ones. If you share these values, this could be a positive signal.
But, if you’re looking to have children, be sure not to take this phrase to mean that this person wants to start a family. Someone can be very family-oriented while entirely content without having children of their own or more children than they have currently.
11. “I’m a foodie.”
This phrase might suggest that the person has a keen interest in food, not just as sustenance but as an experience. This can range from an enjoyment of trying exotic cuisines to an interest in cooking gourmet meals at home.
If you enjoy culinary adventures, this could be a match made in heaven. But beware, “foodie” can also sometimes be used as a trendy buzzword without much depth. Or mean something different than it does for you.
12. “I’m not great at describing myself.”
When you come across this statement, it could mean a couple of things. The person might genuinely find it difficult to encapsulate their personality in a few sentences or be a bit on the shy side. This might require you to engage more proactively in the conversation to get to know them.
However, it could also suggest a lack of effort or commitment to the dating process. So, again, it’s important to gauge their behavior through subsequent interactions.
13. “I’m independent.”
Independence in an online dating profile usually indicates someone who values their autonomy. They might enjoy having their own hobbies, career goals, and social circles outside of a romantic relationship. This can be a positive quality if you’re looking for a partner who respects personal space and boundaries.
But, if you desire a relationship that involves a lot of time spent together or enmeshed lives, this person might not be the best fit. Keep in mind, though, the mark of a healthy relationship is to maintain interests and participate in activities sometimes apart from your partner.
14. “I don’t like games.”
This statement often implies a past history of being “played” or dealing with insincere people. Therefore, the person is likely looking for honesty and transparency.
However, the phrase can also be a red flag. They may perceive any disagreement or misunderstanding as game-playing, indicating potential trust issues or a propensity for blaming others (aka gaslighting).
15. “Not looking for anything serious.”
While this phrase can be neutral, indicating someone genuinely interested in casual dating or friendships, it can also suggest an unwillingness or an inability to commit to a relationship. If you’re searching for a long-term, committed relationship, you might want to steer clear of profiles including this phrase.
16. “I’m fluent in sarcasm.”
While humor is often a sought-after trait, a claim of fluency in sarcasm might hint at a communication style that relies heavily on it.
Although this can be fun and playful, it might also border on being dismissive or rude when used in excess. For those who prefer direct and earnest communication, this might not be an ideal match.
17. “Don’t waste my time.”
Though it’s reasonable not to want one’s time wasted, the phrase can come off as overly aggressive or impatient. It can also suggest past experiences of feeling misled or frustrated with the dating process. Although protecting one’s time is important, the tone and wording can reflect a lack of flexibility or understanding that dating requires some patience and exploration.
Final thoughts …
Appreciating the subtleties of online dating profiles can save you time (and money) and help you avoid mismatched expectations. In this way, decoding these common phrases can lead you to a better understanding of potential matches and ultimately bring you closer to finding love.
Though the phrases themselves aren’t unique, the people communicating them are. Meaning the road to love remains uncertain. And why when you do find love, you won’t have a doubt in your mind.