There’s a great deal of talk about what to do as a woman when you receive an unsolicited $%@! pic from a guy. Should you tell him to stop? Block him? Send him one back? But what happens if you’re a guy who receives an unsolicited sexy pic from a woman? What then?
If you’re a man, you may be thinking, is there actually a guy in the universe who wouldn’t want an unsolicited sexy pic from a woman or who wouldn’t know what to do or say after receiving one? Well, the answer is yes and yes. Unsolicited is just that — no one asked for it, and therefore, it can catch the unsuspecting man off guard. Maybe even you.
That said, there are ways to handle it and ways not to. If, of course, you’re a guy who wants to protect everyone’s feelings in the situation, including your own. Here are a few suggestions for how.
Don’t get angry.
No, it wasn’t what you were expecting to see when you opened your text messages while drinking your morning coffee, but alas, there it is anyway. You thought your relationship ran deeper than what this pic suggests, that you were building something real. The thing is, you still might be, and her sexy pic is only a reflection that she feels safe with you. If you aren’t sure what the pics mean for her or for you, regardless of what you might be thinking …
Be kind.
You may not like what you see on numerous levels, including what she looks like with less clothing on than you’ve seen her wearing so far, but it’s still not an excuse to be mean. Respond with something complimentary or, if you don’t have it in you, something more vague but still not negative like, “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” and let her lead the conversation from there. Then …
Have a talk the next time you’re together.
If you’re uncomfortable with the gesture or are unsure what it means for your relationship, talk about it. But don’t do so over text. Conversations about sensitive matters are best had in person, where you can read each other’s body language, and no one can easily end the conversation by simply leaving you on read.
It’s much easier to get a feel for what someone’s intentions are and to get your own point across about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not when you’re sitting face to face. For a new relationship, this is especially important since you don’t know each other well.
Send a sexy pic back.
If you receive an unsolicited sexy pic from a woman that caught you by surprise, but you are most definitely into it and feel comfortable enough, reciprocate. But do try and match her level of “sexiness.” You don’t want to take a flirtation, depending on what she’s sent, and turn it into amateur porn. In other words, don’t up the ante. She’s made the decision to lead in this area, so let her.
Keep in mind, though, that whenever you put something in writing, including sending a photo, you run the risk that it won’t just be for her eyes only, today or one day in the future. Though she might not, you should plan on doing the gentlemanly thing and …
Not share any photos you receive.
If a woman sends you a sexy pic, she’s placing a certain level of trust in you, even if it hasn’t yet been earned. Hopefully, however, you don’t prove to her that it’s also undeserved.
Always go under the assumption that whatever you receive from a woman is for you exclusively. It’s a risk for her, for sure, and not necessarily a justifiable one. But do as you would want done to your mother, sister, daughter, and favorite aunt, and keep the image to yourself.
Then, during that discussion mentioned above, provide reassurance that you expect your exchanges to remain confidential unless you otherwise agree. Relationships are built on trust, including where sexy pics are concerned.
Should your relationship not work out, don’t share the photos, either. This holds true no matter how you feel about this person after a breakup. Revenge porn is a crime in many states with varying degrees of punishment. If you think a breakup is painful and has gone on too long, go involve yourself in a lawsuit, and see how you’ll be craving those early days of despair.
Final Thoughts
People have different views on sexy pics, and in many instances, they can be a positive way to express attraction and affection in a relationship. But before that can happen, you want to make sure that you and the person you’re dating feel the same way about them.
Open communication, as it always is, is the most efficient way to find out. So ask the questions and listen for the answers, and if it’s a go for you both, the next time you receive a text notification, or she does, know that your hearts may skip a beat — with excitement instead of dread.